If Jacob thought that he’d come home to an empty basement, a basement organized and ready for living, he realized the folly of is mistake the moment he stepped out of his truck a week later. Boxes filled the hallway, lined the driveway, and were stacked on the lawn. The kids protested at the tops of their lungs when anything that looked remotely interesting to them disappeared into the ex-u-haul truck that was now backed into his driveway. Kaye looked done for.
”Get in the house.”
“But Dad! He’s taking my Super-Tron 5000!”
“That is missing about fifty pieces and never worked right in the first place. Go.”
“Awwwwwwww. No fair!”
“I’ll show you not fair. Get in there and stop complaining or I’ll give you something to complain about.”
The moment the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. Threats were a great way to ensure that the kids quit taking him seriously. Jacob hesitated and then caught Miles’ shoulder as the boy slunk past him. “Hey, buddy. I’m sorry. I had a bad day but it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t say things like that. Not like that.”
“We can stay out here?” The boy’s face brightened, but Jacob shook his head. “No. It’s just going to be harder. You didn’t even miss that stuff when you couldn’t see it. Go play a video game and ignore the whole thing until it’s all gone. I’ll come play once I know I’m not needed.”
Trent was already headed inside, but Miles hung back for another moment. “Sorry, Dad.”
“We’re good.”
The words were right, the attitudes were right, but something still unsettled him. As another box passed, he recognized the feeling. It was even more unsettling the moment he realized the cause– loss. It grew to panic as he watched box after box after appliance and broken down piece of furniture loaded into the truck. Jacob turned away, unwilling to look, but it didn’t help. His breath came quickly, beads of perspiration formed along his hairline, and his hands twitched.
Kaye appeared in the doorway, still leaning on crutches with her walking cast. “Hey! Thanks for getting the boys out of the way. They’re acting like I’m ripping off scabs or something.”
Swallowing hard, he nodded. “I thought as much.” Another dolly of boxes went past sending new waves of anxiety over him. “I had no idea we had this much stuff. Are you sure it’s all junk?”
“No.”
Not the word he wanted to hear. The sight of the treadmill coming past sent him over the edge. “That stays.”
“Why? We never use it. We’ve not had one full workout on that thing. Not one.”
“You’re going to need it for physical therapy. It’ll be safe to be where you have railings. It stays,” Jacob insisted. For some reason seeing the treadmill go felt like the nail in a coffin he knew didn’t even exist.
“Jacob! That’s ridiculous. I can walk around the block if I want to walk.”
“You will need support until your muscles strengthen.” He sounded ridiculous even to his own ears, but still he persisted.
“I’ll have the stroller to hold onto.” She turned and shaking her head, Kaye waved the man into the van.
When the junk dealer didn’t even hesitate, Jacob lost the last shred of self-control he had. “What! You’re just going to ignore me. That is my property too, mister, and I want it taken back downstairs NOW!”
The man stood there giving him a look that clearly said, “You will not win this,” but he didn’t speak. Jacob turned to Kaye, astonished that she would go against him in such a blatant fashion. “I don’t believe this.”
“You never wanted us to buy it in the first place. It took me a week to talk you into it and I proved you right. I never used it. I will never use it. We both know this. You won’t use it. So it’s taking up valuable space in our basement. What has gotten into you?”
Jacob clung stubbornly to the one thing that made perfect sense to him– the lack of respect shown as a partial owner of the article in question. “I can’t believe this guy is just ignoring me. I said take it back, and he’s just going to do whatever you say without even listening. I could have him arrested for theft!”
Now she laughed. Of all the things Kaye could have said or done to diffuse the situation and get the obnoxious thing out of there, laughing was the worst. It was bad enough that he had already made a fool of himself over a piece of exercise equipment that was worthless in his opinion. Now he just looked stupid. Great.
“I thought you were serious for a moment,” she giggled.
The junk guy, thinking that all was resolved–the poor fool–chuckled with her and loaded the thing into the truck and whistled on his way to the basement. Jacob would not be appeased. He stormed into the truck and tried to wrestle the treadmill out by himself. It was halfway down the ramp before the man returned with the washing machine that hadn’t worked since the drum cracked inexplicably.
“Want some help with that?”
***
Want some help with that? The moment Roy offered to help, Kaye knew things were about to get interesting. She winced. The clatter of the treadmill on the ground might have had a little something to do with it. Jacob threw up his hands in the air and said, “Fine. Take it. Take it all. Do you want the couch? What about the TV? Maybe you want my clothes? My bed?” The crazed look on his face made Kaye especially nervous. He wouldn’t say it? It was the kind of thing he’d joke about with friends. Surely– nope, there it was, “Why don’t you take my wife too?”
“Sorry, bud. It’s not that easy to get rid of those. I should know.”
“I don’t believe this!”
Kaye stared after him as Jacob stormed into the house. Roy stared at her with a “take it or leave it” question in his eyes. “Take it.”
She stepped inside the house just as the water turned on in the shower. He’d feel better. He’d also open up more if she couldn’t see him. It was the best time to ask, but sometimes it kept him grumpy too. Which way to roll..
With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and hobbled into the bathroom feeling ridiculous. She usually felt a bit like a conqueror when she barged into the bathroom to demand to know what had upset him; now she knew she looked like a lame penguin.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t believe you have to ask.”
Great, he had known she’d follow. That killed her success quotient exponentially. “Well, I’m hopped up on pain killers. It’s affecting my mental processes.” There, that might work.
“Very funny.”
“Are you going to answer me or are we going to have a miserable week?”
A bottle fell to the bottom of the shower. “Where is my shampoo?”
“Didn’t you just drop it?”
“No,” he growled, “that was yours.”
“Use mine. We don’t need two bottles anyway.”
“That’s it! This ends today. You can have all the bottles of shampoo and conditioner that you want, but I want the 2-in-1 stuff in the green bottle. Period. Either dump yours and use that or, horrors! Have both! I don’t care, but I’m sick of it being evil to have two of something.” Before she could formulate a reply, he snapped, “Then again, you seem to be against having just one of most things too.”
“This is about the treadmill? You want us to keep something we both know we will never use? Fine. I’ll tell Roy to take it off the truck. Where do you want it? The living room? It can go there.”
“You have completely missed the point.”
“I know. That’s why I’m asking, what is the point? I get that you want a different shampoo. I’ll buy it. You’re right, having two bottles in there isn’t going to turn our house into a clutter zone. I think I’m afraid that if I give in on the small things, we’ll have another basement that we can’t walk through again.”
He didn’t reply for several seconds. Just as she was ready to go tell Roy to bring back the treadmill she heard him say, “I think I’m discovering that I get some kind of– something from stuff.”
“Some kind of something? Like what?”
“I don’t know. I just came home, saw all those boxes and that truck filling up and panicked. It felt like I got laid off or something.”
Of all the things she expected to hear him say, that was not even on her radar. “I suppose it didn’t help when I didn’t take you seriously.” The water turned off and Kaye reached for his towel, dropping it over the top of the door.
Jacob mumbled “Thanks,” from behind the towel. “I guess I did overreact. It probably did look like a joke.” He stepped out of the shower and reached for his deodorant. “What do we do now?”
“You go play video games with the boys until pizza arrives. I finish with Roy. Oh, and your mom will be here soon with Sophie.”
“You called Mom?”
“I wasn’t going to have her falling down the stairs and having a mini fridge dropped on her head.”
Jacob laughed and shook out his hair, splattering her with droplets. “At least you know your limitations.”
“If someone had only told me I was marrying a sheep dog,” she muttered, leaving the room with her usual retort.
“Aaaaaaahooooooooooo ou ou ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!”
“Sounds more like a sick walrus,” she called back.
***
She stood on the stairs staring at the empty basement floor. A few shelves had some things on them, but compared to the mess she’d been accustomed to since moving in– and the disaster of the past few months–it was nothing. Clean. Open. And yes, Kaye admitted to herself, just a bit terrifying. Now she understood what Jacob had meant, but she knew how to explain it. It must be the same feeling that inner city dwellers felt when they found themselves all alone with nothing around them for miles. There was freedom–yes–but there was also a sense of panic at being so exposed.
“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Jacobs arms came around her waist and pulled her to him.
She smiled. He’d adjusted anyway. “Yeah. Now, how to keep it this way is the problem. All I can think of are ideas for filling it with other stuff. That’s kind of defeating the purpose.”
“What other stuff?”
“Just stuff.” She didn’t really want to go there with him. He’d run with the idea.
“Come on, what were you thinking?”
It was no use. He’d keep pestering until she gave in or worse, he’d trick her. “Just a lot of ideas. Desks and couches for homework, studio seating and a big screen, organizers and stuff for scrapbooking, play equipment for winter time–”
“You always say that kids should be outside in winter– even if it is freezing. Fresh air and all that stuff.” He glanced around. “But the scrapbook idea… if there was a corner for Sophie to have her little kitchen and a doll bed or two… maybe a little chair and a small TV… It’d be like a great girl cave or something.”
“I don’t think so,” she said, turning to go upstairs. “Not yet. I think we need to get used to the empty or we’ll just fill up the whole house again. Let me get through a birthday or two before I start thinking of dead space as usable space.”
He frowned and then nodded. “You know, when you first started on this kick– almost six months ago now– I thought it was just another thing that you always start and then give up on. I didn’t expect it to last. I mean, I’m always the voice of reason around here when it comes to spending and stuff. It’s like we’ve switched roles or something.”
She kept climbing but agreed. “Yeah, I knew you didn’t see that this time I meant it. Before I felt like I ‘should’ do something. This time I felt like I had to or we’d smother in it all.” She sighed. “I guess it’s like Pastor Fry said, isn’t it?”
“When? I haven’t seen him in five years.”
“When we were having our premarital counseling. He said that in most marriages, spouses balance one another. I was the overboard spender/hoarder and you were the one saying to stop and live with less. When our roles switched, you became concerned for our stuff out of preservation or something.”
A screech sent both running up the stairs. Fighting over a battered paper airplane, Trent’s screams were punctuated with occasional choked sobs. “He’s taking my airplane!”
“Miles, let go.” Kaye’s voice had that rare tone she always tried to manufacture to get instant compliance and never could. It always worked. It worked now. Miles dropped the plane and Trent began smoothing and repressing the creases.
“What is going on here?” Jacob’s voice had that, “I can’t believe I am even asking this question” tone to it.
“It was all crumpled and wouldn’t fly. He hit me with it so I threw it away. I mean, come on. It’s worthless, but he always wants to hold onto every single piece of junk he ever comes across.”
“Is it yours?” Kaye’s voice hadn’t changed. She tried to memorize it, but the chance of success was slim and she knew it.
“Noooo… but…”
“Then don’t touch it. You don’t want him ruining your Lego creations or your popsicle stick doo-dads. Show him the same courtesy. Apologize.”
Jacob murmured into her ear, “See, they listen when they know you are determined to be heard.”
“But it’s junk!”
“It’s mine!”
“And I don’t care what either of you think of the other’s possessions. Stop arguing, don’t touch what isn’t yours, and apologize, Miles!”
“Fine. I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not. Just leave my stuff alone,” Trent spat as he ran off to protect his treasure from further destruction.”
“See! See!!! I said I was sorry.”
“Saying doesn’t make it so, does it, son?” Jacob sounded ready to explode. “You are always complaining that they don’t respect your stuff, but when you do things like that you teach them that it really doesn’t matter after all.”
“Mom did it. She dumped all his junk and now our room is cleaner like she likes it. So why can she do it–”
“What I did was wrong. The difference is that I recognized my wrong, apologized, and now I’m teaching Trent how to preserve memories without attaching stuff to it.”
“Huh?”
“Mom admitted her mistake. You just wanted out of trouble,” Jacob translated. To Kaye he added, “He’s a guy. Simple words. Simple meanings.”
“Right.” Grinning, Kaye said, “Go apologize and mean it this time.”
Once the boy was out of earshot, she turned to Jacob and laid her head on his chest. “Are we always going to be fighting over stuff? I hate it. I want to throw it all away and live with nothing.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
She sighed. “I know. I can dream.”
“Sounds like a nightmare to me.”
Another shopping day yesterday. My tally would have been 72.00 but I stocked up on meat. Chicken chests, roll of hamburger, and a roast. Chicken goes on sale a little less frequently so I wanted a little more to help get me through the 3 day stuff. That brought it up another 41.00 that I did not need and won’t use for some time. I figure it’ll even out later or something. Don’t think I’m going to need more than bread, fruit, and milk on Thursday but I may find I’m wrong.
