Armed and Painfulness

Well, it’s not a good play on words, but it’ll do.  Yesterday was my first Friday.  My first day for biceps, back, and I did do the forgotten calf stretch thingies from Wednesday.  Hey, I am TRYING here.

I waited until today to post results.  ARMS ARE SORE.  However, they are not as sore as the first day.  So, I think I did a good job knowing just how far to go.  That has to count for something.  I think I have a formula worked out.  See, I do three sets of fifteen repetitions on all my machines.  If I have to fight through any in the first set, it’s too much.  It needs to work something like this.

Set 1-  No fights but feel the burn.
Set 2-  Fight to get in the last 2-3.
Set 3-  Fight to get in the last 4 or 5.

Any more than that and the muscle soreness really does make it impossible to sleep well.  I think that’s a bit counter productive since I’m striving for ENERGY here.

I also had to rethink things on the treadmill.  In everything, I went up 5 lbs this week.  That felt great.  I’m making progress and improvement.  I want to keep that up!  But upping my speed got me a reduced walk on Thursday, so I decided to try it another way yesterday.  I started at 2.6 mph (I usually start at 2.8) and worked up another .1 every five minutes until I’d done five at 3.0 and then worked back down to 2.8.  It worked!  In fact, I got zero calf burn (when sometimes I get a little) so next time I’ll try starting at 2.7 and see if I can hold 3.0 for 10 minutes.

Anyway, I’m feeling pretty confident despite the arms that are seriously ticked at me.  They aren’t revolting (aside from certain flabby issues) and I am not considering amputation, so all in all… good workout.

Oh, and you know how people always say that if you have flabby arms, work ’em out.  If you need to reduce your gut, do crunches.  If your thighs have been mistaken for claps of thunder, start jogging… well, I’ve always thought that was ridiculous.  I mean, there’s a good chance you’ll just add muscle behind all that fat while you lose weight in the one place that you can’t afford to lose it because that is how Murphy’s Law works.  Well, today I realized that my theory HAS to be correct.  My finger muscles HAVE to be the most fit muscles I have.  After all, I use them pretty much all day.  Have you seen my hands?  UTTER CHUBBINESS.  And for proof, I will now humiliate myself and show this video.

Feel the Burn

In your calf.  On the side.  Limp.  Limp, Jane Chautona, limp.  Ignore the pain.  Suffer.

Yeah.  The last two didn’t happen.  Halfway through my treadmill course today, I gave up.  I was limping.  I tried to up my mph and when I couldn’t walk out the burn, I finally conceded defeat and went home.

Somehow, it seems like today’s workout wasn’t meant to be.  I tried to go but stomach trouble sent me home for relief and more food.  I finally get back and did all my leggy stuff.  Extensions, curls, lifts, oh wait.  I forgot the lifts.  DRAT.  Someone was using it so I went over to glutes.  Yeah, my bum got the burn too.  Couldn’t do shoulders and back because I did arms yesterday (since I didn’t get there on Monday.)  I wanted to sleep tonight, so I saved shoulders and back for tomorrow.  Yeah.  Complicated.  OY.

Then this.  I lost 15 minutes of the treadmill.  😦  (10 minutes of workout and 5 of cool down)

Remind me that it’s much better than last month at this time when I hadn’t walked in weeks.  Remind me that at least I did SOMETHING.

Lie, if necessary.  I beg you.

Work It Five Pounds at a Time…

But it definitely costs more than a dime.  And in both time and money and ACHING muscles.

Today I moved up five pounds on everything!  That’s just cool.  It also went FAST.  I was amazed at how quickly I was on that treadmill.  Even the treadmill didn’t seem to take as long as it used to.  By the end of the week, I think I’ll be up to three miles per hour at least. I might even be able to bump the incline to three as well.  WOOT.

It seems kind of soon to bump up pounds, but I’ll take it.

Wait.  Did I just say that I’m putting on the pounds while working out?

Yeah.  Anyone who says this exercise thing isn’t crazy is, well, CRAZY!

Pavlov’s Workout

Conditioning.  There’s more to it than getting your body into good condition.  You know the story of Pavlov and how he taught his dogs to salivate at the ringing of a bell?  Well, I’ve “conditioned” my body to the workouts already.  It’s simple.  Today I put on my workout clothes, which, by the way, were shorter pants and shirt sleeves than I had been wearing, and within seconds I was actually sweating.  Yes, my body just starts sweating now when I put on my exercise clothes.

Too bad it doesn’t burn the calories for me too.

Oh, and it was a precursor to what was to come.  By the time I got done on the treadmill today, my entire head, except for the hair on the very very very top thin layer at the top of my crown, was SOAKED in sweat.  Revolting.

Shoulders and legs got it today.  I couldn’t remember where one of the machines for legs were so I didn’t get the same jelly legs.  However, now I know what I need.  Squats.  There was no machine, we did squats.  So, this evening when I get some oomph again, I’ll do those blasted 45 squats.

I don’t have to want to.

Just sayin’.

Steppin’ It Up…

Not easy to add poundage when workin’ out.  Easy to add it when pregnant, but it’s not the kind of poundage we’re talking about.  I tried to convince myself today that all this blubber hanging all over my body has simply been my attempt at resistance training while walking around all day.  Yeah.  Sure it is.

So, a few things got a five pound raise today.  Brits would love that, wouldn’t they?  Show up at work and hear, “Hey, you’re getting a five pound raise today.”  My arms didn’t love it.  They are obviously not Brits.

The other trainer guy today showed me how to use other machines to get a better ab workout.  Oh joy.  No, I need it.  I wasn’t the slightest bit sore after the last ones and today he said I was doing them right.  Obviously I need more oomph in my quest for oomph. So, more machines tomorrow.  Yippie doodle!!!

Walkin’ got a boost too.  It was only a few minutes of more, but a few is better than none, right?

Arms aren’t as sore as before, but they are still sore. I like knowing I’ll wake up sore and stiff but not in dire pain.  That’s a good thing.

Oh, and I got a nice compliment.  There’s a man that’s very encouraging to everyone given half a chance.  Today in response to something he said, I joked that I really wanted to be able to chase around the grandkids.  For the record, I don’t look old enough to have them.


I think I Muffed It

My sit ups on the “ball.”  I’m supposed to do them for “abs.”  They were too easy.  I’m not sure what I did wrong.  After all, I did try to work only from my abdomen. So, we’ll see in the morning if I’m sore at all.

Right now, soreness is doable.  It’s there, it’s constant even, but it isn’t PAIN anymore.  I also notice that with less pain, I don’t have my stomach growling within minutes of getting home.  That helps a lot.  I eat– actually that was today’s revelation.  A few facts about me.

  1. I forget to eat– often
  2. I rarely feel hungry.  I know I’m hungry when I want to go to bed and can’t think.  Problem is, I can’t think so I don’t realize I’m hungry.  It’s a vicious cycle.
  3. I lose weight when I eat more.  Not when I eat healthy or when I do anything that the books say to do.  Volume in equals weight down for me.

So, when I looked at my situation, I realized that I’ve been eating more the past week or so.  First, I did not want to exercise on an empty stomach.  That made me eat fairly soon after getting up.  That helped with my fourth food fact that I wasn’t going to share.  I will now.  Warning:  TMI

When I go too long between meals, food runs right through me.  Yeah.  I used each word there very carefully.  It’s what I do.  Just take note.

So, last week, I had no issues with too long between meals because not only did I eat when I got up, I ate when I got home!  I was hungry.  I FELT hungry (weird feeling btw.)  I ate snacks pretty much all day.  BULLY FOR ME!

So, if this does nothing else for me, I might lose a few pounds just by eating more often!

I really want the energy more, though.  I mean it when I say that if I get NOTHING else but some “oomph” from this I’ll be satisfied.  Do I want less poundage?  OH YEAH!  Do I want to go down a few sizes?  Ya, sure, you betcha!  I want to go down at least 100 lbs.  That’s not going to put me at a skinny weight btw.  However, I mean it when I say that if it only gives me energy again, I’ll be satisfied.

However, I might be ticked off that I had to spend so much time EATING.  Sigh.

Screamin’ Muscles

I’ve heard of those before.  I have.  I always thought it meant “ouch!” Mine don’t scream “ouch” or “watch it!” like I thought muscles did.  I just thought it meant that you really really really REALLY irked them and they bit back a bit.

Mine are screaming.  They are.  Unfortunately, my muscles do not have speech seasoned with salt or grace.  They’re swearing at me in several languages.  Hey, my muscles swear in tongues.  They try to be Christian I guess.  I say they fail.  They’re really ticked.

What, you thought I gave up?  I mean, Wednesday was the last time I posted about my workouts.  You did, didn’t you?  I don’t blame you.  Utter silence.

Well, my muscles weren’t, but I try to keep this a G… at worst PG rated blog.  My muscles’ language isn’t.

Thursday, we had company.  I was grateful.  Truly.  I was thrilled to death.  After all, it was a PERFECT excuse to sit on the couch and snuggle adorable twins, giggle with a fun little boy, and sing songs with the sweetest Rachael on the planet.  Friday I was still hobbling.  Seriously.  I had to have help getting out of the couch and let’s just say sitting on other things periodically throughout the day was um… TORTURE.  I took naps, tried to sleep with my arms freaking out on me, and then woke up Saturday.  Hobbling.  Not as bad, but sitting still hurt.  A bunch.  GRR.

Yesterday I felt much better.  I hardly hobbled at all really.  Maybe a step or two when first waking up or getting up but I don’t know if anyone but me noticed.  It was good.  I thought about going in for the treadmill only.  Then I got really tired, my stomach got upset, so I decided to take one more day off.  Yeah, I felt like a failure.  Three days on, four days off.  Even my government employee husband works four days a week!

I got up today– tired.  I went to bed late.  The stupid daylight thing messes with me badly.  But I got up and I went.  I lowered the pounds on some of the aparati (or is it aparatuses?).  If the trainer guy had to help me finish my repetitions last time, it went down five pounds.  I did one set wrong.  Had to redo them.  Yeah, that was fun.

I sweated my way through the treadmill, dying to stop (and worse than I ever had before!  I seriously wanted to quit).  Somehow I finished.  Somehow.  Day four.  I consider it a success.  I was faster, did it all myself, lowered things just a bit so that maybe I won’t die trying to sleep tonight, and so far I’m not screaming for a nap.

I learned something today though.  The machine has a big red “STOP” button for if you think you’re going to fall over or for whatever reason you might need to stop.  I found I had to stop looking at it.  It taunted me.  I wanted to obey.  I wanted to stop.  It danced in front of my eyes with its huge redness saying, “You know you want to.  So, I kept my eyes on the timer.  It ticked down too slow.  I kept them on the heart rate thingie.  Again, not helping.  I closed them, but with ear plugs I felt a bit unsteady with my eyes closed, so that didn’t work.

At last, I stared outside and walked as if I could actually reach the other side of the street.  It was kind of like one of those horrible dreams where you keep running but you don’t get anywhere.  Yeah.  Like that.  Except that I knew in my head there was an end, and I would get over there as soon as I got done.

My Facebook status today:
Dear Muscles,
I am so sorry. Please forgive me.
Prostrate (and I mean that literally),

Yeah.  That about sums it up.  Until tomorrow… assuming there is one…  Oh wait, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.  Dad burn it.

Third Time Isn’t Charming

Just sayin’.  Look, I don’t want this to be a continual whine about how horrible it is to workout.  I don’t want to go on and on about how much pain I am in.  Today was my first true failure.  I don’t like failure.

So, the first thing I did was squats.  Fifteen.  Legs weak.  Fifteen more. Legs were worthless almost.  However, they got even more worthless when the guy tells me I’m not going down “straight.”  I’m bending at the waist.  OOPS!  I thought I was going straight!  So, I try again.  I couldn’t walk to the next apparatus.  Which was, leg curls of some kind.  Three sets of fifteen.  It took me at least twenty minutes to do all sets.  The next was pretty easy, but you’re supposed to wipe down the equipment between uses.  The bottle was on the other side of the room.  I had to hobble over there.  I hobbled not because I was in pain, but because my legs were jelly.  I’d heard of jelly legs.  I am alive to tell you that they are NOT a myth.

Everywhere I walked, my legs buckled beneath me.  Then it was time for shoulders.  Did I mention that my shoulders were SCREAMING in pain from yesterday?  Yeah.  Not good.  I sat at the first one and after much too long, managed to get one hand on the grip.  Second one came.  I barely got my fist around it.  Now push up.  Um, not happening.  It felt like I’d rip a muscle.  Now, no I don’t think I would have but it FELT like I would have.  I physically could not make me do it.  After ten minutes, and not being able to push up once, I gave up.  Onto the next.  Did it.  Barely, but did it.  Onto the next.  Now frankly, the last one was too easy.  Really, it was.  It was so easy the machine didn’t know what to do with me, but I figured my arms hurt enough already that all I wanted was the motions, not weight resistance.  I didn’t want to make them scream more.  I did anyway and that was with a mere 10 lbs.  10 measly little pounds.

Then I went to the trainer guy and asked what to do about the treadmill.  I mean, I could barely make it across the room.  Was it worth TRYING or not?  I didn’t want to be stupid.  He told me to go on the bike.  So, I rode 2.5 miles.  That works.  I like that.  And, by that point, I was no longer unable to walk to the car!  YAY!

I ended up getting a nice nap immediately.  I am now starving.

Tomorrow… maybe tomorrow I can go to bed without crying when I attempt to turn over.  My arms hate me.  I hate them.  It’s mutual.

Resistance Training

I didn’t sleep last night.  If I moved, my right arm begged me to give it to someone for anything– anything!  I don’t know how I managed not to scream out each time.  Pain.

You know the old “No pain, no gain?”  Um, I don’t want to gain, so does that mean I can skip the pain part?

Today I went in to walk.  I actually did better than yesterday.  That counts, right?

Then it was time for abs.  Um, I don’t have abs.  They disappeared nine kids ago.  Just holding onto the stupid machine killed my arms.

I now know what resistance training is.  It’s when you resist doing any further physical training at all.

Who knew that I’ve been “in training” for years.  I’ve resisted this for DECADES.

Let me state that once more just to be clear.

Resistance training

def: the avoidance of all physical exertion