The doors open to reveal your soul
Oh, dear, in there is an uncovered bowl
Of eggs, flour, and butter so sweet
For cookies we’d all love to eat
Alas the shelves are loaded down
With food that once was golden brown
But now it sports a fuzzy do
My nose wrinkles and the kids cry, “EW!”
I’ve failed you my lovely fridge
With food that builds a nasty ridge
Of hardened goo along the shelf
I have to clean it off myself
But now you’re clean so off I go
To fill you with things that I know
The family will love to make me cook
When I’d rather sit and write my book.
You’ll hear it a lot around my house. About every 2-4 weeks I say, “If you want me to buy food, it’s simple– clean out the fridge.” I don’t tell them when, how, if, where, why. I figure, if they want FOOD, they’ll do it. Self-preservation is a great motivator. Sometimes, the pickin’s in this house are so slim that they don’t delay. Before I’m done with my reminder and promise of food, they’re in there pulling out the nasty old stuff and wiping down shelves.
(This is where a REAL blogger would post pictures of her gorgeous fridge with a single fuzzy container that looks suspiciously as if it was “grown” for this purpose. I obviously do not have a REAL blog. I have pride. It’s sinful, but hey… I tell it like it is.)
Other times,, they wait a day or three. Those always crack me up. They’ll ask what is for lunch and I’ll tell ’em– “Leftovers.” Of course, most of the leftovers in there are sporting fuzz. So, those things get pulled out. They used to get put back, but someone (I have rocket scientists for kids) figured out that if you just put them in the sink, there’s less to do on clean out day.
Now, if they’d just figure out that there’s almost no clean out day if they just keep what goes IN, coming back out for a meal…