Today my husband flew out of Inyokern to West Palm Beach, Florida. From there, Monday morning, he’ll fly to the largest of the islands in the Bahamas (with the smallest population of course). A navy base. Yes, my husband’s first out of country trip is to another navy base in a paradise that he might not even see. Very sad. However, that’s not really what I wanted to share.
See, I’m female. I know that’s a shocker to most people, but I am. I’m that lovely *cough* mix of contradictions that really does make up the majority of females that I know. You see, when I’ve gone to spend a weekend with a friend or at a homeschool conference, I’ve been fine being away from my husband. It doesn’t faze me at all really. Ok, I miss him, of course. I wouldn’t want to imply that I don’t, but I don’t feel “empty” without him. Isn’t that strange? Oh, it’s not? Well, let me share the other side of the coin. Perhaps that’ll clarify a few things. When Kevin has been gone for a few days (three times in the course of our marriage?), I’ve been miserable. In fact, the last time he returned, I spent quite a while sobbing once he returned home. I still don’t know exactly why, but I’m guessing the relief of having him home again, how much I’d missed him– all of it just crashed down on me. Oh, I should mention to those who don’t know it– I don’t cry. Almost ever. At all. Just don’t. So half an hour or so of constant sobbing was freakishly out of character for me.
I was thinking about this all weekend, wondering how this week will go. I think it makes sense, really. After all, I think there’s a lot to the whole “become one” thing aside from the obvious. I think in a lot of ways, half of me won’t be here this week. And that’s what really got me thinking.
Ok, I know that Christians are called the bride of Christ primarily due to the authority structure of people/Jesus/the Father, and because of the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf– much like (of course in a smaller sense) our husbands are to give up themselves for their wives and do so often. But, this oneness of marriage, it got me thinking… couldn’t it be another picture of our relationship with the Lord?
Would I miss the Lord as deeply if He went away for a week? Would I notice? I pray I would. I would hope that I’d notice His absence immediately, but what if I didn’t? Have I grown enough in my walk with the Lord that I would miss fellowship with Him if He wasn’t there every time I prayed? Do I pray enough that I’d notice if He were gone for a few hours or days?
No, the Christian walk isn’t exactly like a marriage, but there are parallels. I’m finding new nuances all the time. It’s fascinating. Oh, Lord make me desire that closeness with You– more and more every day.