Pray Without Ceasing~

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In a sense, it’s the only way I pray.  My prayer life is really mostly a running snippet of, “Oh, Lord about that…”  and “Oh, thank you for…”  rather than the chatty conversations with the Lord that I’ve always desired.  I look at David, Mary, and Paul and think of their amazing ability to pour out their hearts to the Lord, and I envy it.

I’ve tried prayer journals, and while I like them, I don’t like the sense that they aren’t private.  I do cherish my privacy, particularly in connection with my time with the Lord.  Let’s face it, I’m not going to hide a journal from everyone.  I’m not going to cover it in weird rubber band mazes that only I can detect.  I’m going to leave it where I can grab it and write.  That means anyone can pick it up and flip through it.  As much as I believe most of my family and guests would open, see it was private, and close, the fact is, who knows what might be seen before that closure happens.  I don’t have deep dark secrets between the Lord and myself, but even my confessions are between He and I.  Period.

Tonight, a friend and I were talking about how we both express ourselves best through the written word.  When writing what is on my heart, I’m most likely to communicate what I truly think AND feel.  When speaking, I tend to stick strictly to the facts.  For whatever reason, writing helps me concentrate and say what I often struggle with verbalizing– particularly if emotions are involved.

This is why a prayer journal is something I gravitate toward, but who wants to write out their heart to the Lord and then shred it?  Seems kind of wasteful on many levels.  However, it occurred to me that I could easily create a password protected prayer folder on my laptop.  Actually, I doubt I’d need to password protect it.  Opening a folder on someone’s private laptop takes a decision to read what isn’t meant to be read.  Picking up a journal off a shelf or the couch is much less intentional and more random.  I even, if I chose, could simply type out my prayers, reread them.  Pour out anything else I have to the Lord, and hit the nice delete button.  No hours of writing wasted, no paper tossed, no journal ruined.  Just a simple exercise in spending time with the Lord that is comfortable for me.

Sure, I probably should learn the discipline of concentration during mental prayer times.  I don’t plan to ignore that forever.  I don’t plan to stop my running prayerful commentary to the Lord throughout the day.  However, until that discipline is learned, I’d rather spend some time in deeper prayer than I have been.  This works for me, and considering the Lord made me as I am, I think He understands.

I’m quite excited about it.  Quite.

Off to make my folder.  Lord, please remind me to open it frequently.

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