Though I speak with authority on a wide variety of important subjects, but without love, I am as obnoxious as fingers on a chalk board. 

And though I have all the right CD’s from well-respected speakers and teachers, and know how to apply them; and though I could have the perfect family that everyone looks up to, if I do it for self without love, it is nothing.

And though I wear lovely historical gowns, bake homemade bread from freshly ground wheat, can my own food, and run a successful home business, if love is not the root of my heart and actions, I’m a fraud.

Love takes time, encourages, doesn’t try to force others into an ill-fitting mold, doesn’t make demands to gratify self, doesn’t arrogantly assume it knows best for all,

Doesn’t shame Christ by trying to earn salvation through behavior, seek formulas to exalt self, get bent out of shape when others choose a different path, assign unjust motives to actions,

Gloat over another’s failure on that different path, but congratulates the successful for a job well done even if it’s not how we would have done it.

Helps with anything they can, assumes the best whenever possible, hopes for the best always, and puts up with guff from the self-righteous on behalf of those who just need a helping hand.

Loving your brethren won’t fail you but all the baptized toys, wheat berries, spiritual snobbery, and fine testimonies will crumble and rot without that love.

Right now we’re a bunch of thunder puppies out to prove our formulas will solve the churche’s problems

But when we learn to know Jesus in all His love and fulness, we won’t care about looking good, we’ll be too busy radiating the Love of Christ in our words, in our actions, and yes, even in the methods by which we live out our principles.

As a thunder puppy I yapped about everything I thought I knew, I whined at the feet of people I thought should listen to my yapping, and I really thought I was something else but as I matured, I realized how much I really don’t know.

Right now, my perceptions hide the flaws in my relfection but as I mature, I’ll see me as I really am.  Now I think I know it all, but later I might really know something and be able to share it.

Right now, I have my thoughts, my reputation, and a bit of love… but what I really need is a lot more of that love.

 I’m not the only one who has ever written something like this.  I know I’ve seen similar things on the homeschooling front, the organizational front, and other areas.  This is just something that my heart has been mulling for ages.

PLEASE don’t misunderstand me.  There is nothing wrong with baking bread, writing curricula, wearing historical clothing, or purchasing toys designed to encourage your children to look up to godly heroes.  I’m not against these things.  I’m not against purity, or knowledge, or maintaining a good reputation.  I am against the ever growing slavish- almost cultish adherance to another’s lifestyle whether or not it is the one God intended for YOU.

I can’t be Elisabeth Elliot.  I’m not supposed to be.  I can’t be Amy Carmichael.  I’m not supposed to be.  I can’t be Jennie Chancey, Terri Maxwell, or Joni Erickson Tada!  God made me Chautona Havig.  Wife of Kevin Havig.  Mother to Challice, Morgann, Braelyn, Kaylene, Nolan, Jenna, Andra, Ethan, and Lorna.  Grandmother to Euphemia.  Mother-in-Law to David.  My responsibility is to be who God created ME to be and glean from the lives of those around me…. not try to replicate them in me.  I’m not supposed to be a missionary to India, a speaker to homeschool moms, artist, or anyone but me.  My job is to search the scriptures and be sure that whomever I am, is who God wants me to be and no one else.  All my attempts at being the “perfect Christian home school mom” will steam like a cow pie in a pasture and if I keep trying it, I’m probably going to fall face first into it. 

Actually, I haven’t tried to do this for years but I see it around me every day and it hurts me.  My heart hurts for women who think they need a formula, a ‘look’, a vision or something to be happy when all they need is JESUS.  Get help from those you admire.  Emulate that which God and your husband desire.  But please… PLEASE… ensure that God really desires it and that your husband isn’t just yessing you so he can have some peace.  Please.


7 thoughts on “Loveless~

  1. Oh my goodness, that was beautiful. I see it all around me too. It begs the question…”What in the world are we doing?” ….In the last few years, I’ve stepped off the bandwagon. I don’t like the ride anymore. We’re now moving more and more into who God created this family to be. And, it’s not going to look like anyone else.

  2. Lovely post! I love the balance! Too often we fall to extremes, either wanting certain trappings for the wrong reasons, or condemning those for whom a certain thing IS them.

    Love the diversity as we serve our different families. One husband might desire fresh ground wheat while another is only yessing the wife. It is too bad that it is so easy to look over our shoulders and assume that the wheat or the clothing, or the curriculum, or WHATEVER is good or bad in itself instead of just seeking to serve the Lord in our unique homes.

  3. Exactly Dell. For my Morgann, calico jumpers, peter pan collars, and petticoats would be trying to be who she is not but it is so YOU. For you to wear the latest from Mervyns in an attempt to avoid a “look” because you don’t subscribe to the mindset of SOME with that look, would be false to who you are.

    None of these thigns are inherantly good or evil. Trying to imitate others in the hopes that their results will transfer to us is often a good way to teach our children to be fake and that appearances are more important than them as people.

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