What if we, as wives, could be fired? What if our husbands could give us an evaluation and after ‘disciplinary action’ (Not physical… write ups, fines, something) let us go for non performance? How many of us would be fired? I’m certain I could be. No doubt in my mind. Shame on me.
I’m not talking about walking a perfect line. I’m not talking about never making a mistake. I’m talking about effort put forth, respect for authority, and reasonable productivity. Allowances for legitimate physical limitations would be required and understanding during weaker times of our ‘vessel’. I can picture it.
Quarterly review comes. The husband brings his notes to the meeting. “I’d like to tell you that your menus are impeccable, the kitchen is always spotless, and I appreciate how the bills are paid on time and the accounts so efficiently managed. Well done. I am concerned, however, with the way the children are allowed to get away with disrespect and defiance. I think you need to focus a little more attention on their well being and work on simpler meals for a time.”
“I see how hard you are working at our goals. Well done. Please don’t put quite so much pressure on your self. Reaching the goal is important but not if you die just as you cross the line. You need to allow yourself more breaks and expect a little less perfection from everyone. I think you are becoming a bit harsh and bitter through all of this.
Maybe he’d say…
“What do you do all day? I come home and the school work isn’t finished. Dinner is rarely started. The housework is done in a slip-shod manner and the children are squabbling. Your hobbies are left everywhere and unfinished. I cannot see that you’ve accomplished anything and now I have to work a double shift. One at work, another at home. I think it is time for you to put more effort into this family. If you need help, I’ll do what I can. If I can’t help, you’re welcome to get insight from others but I expect to see a little more effort made.
I don’t want to dwell on what my husband would say yesterday. I want to make today a day he’d praise. I’m ashamed of myself. I believe I’ve allowed the fact that I can’t be fired to blind me to my faults.
I can do everything I need to do. I have enough hours in the day. I also have enough hours to do most of what I want to do in addition to my responsibilities. Some people binge on sweets when they’re down or out of sorts. I binge on laziness. Shame on me.
I don’t want my husband to ever feel like he’s ‘stuck’ with me. I want him to be BLESSED by me. I want him to, when men are grousing about their wives, think “I am so thankful I married Chautona.” It’s my responsibility to give him reason to do so.
Now, before anyone jumps on the “Why is it always the wife who must do xyz? Why didn’t you write about husbands getting fired?”
Well, because I can’t change my husband. (Wouldn’t want to 99% of the time!) I can’t make him do what I think he should. Men are supposed to read the Word and do it. They’re supposed to be taught by the pastors and elders how to love their wives and children and give themselves up for them. My place, as a woman, is to do my part regardless of whether or not my husband does, and to encourage other women to stand right before the Lord in their own actions, not focusing on the faults of others.