Unusual “Gossip”

I heard of the fall of one of my favorite preachers this week.  This isn’t new.  Let’s face it.  Hardly a week or month goes by without hearing some gossip of those in “Christian Leadership” around the globe.  Embezzlement, adultery, immorality, or things that were laid at the feet of the cross at salvation rear their ugly heads to mock us. 

What was new, is that I heard about this preacher’s adultery from his own fingers.   While looking for a way to purchase one of his sermons, I found his blog and my heart is broken for him and his family. 

His repentance is beautiful.  He doesn’t pretend that saying “sorry” fixes all wrongs.  He doesn’t pretend that his actions weren’t directly responsible for the destruction of families and trust within the church.  He takes full responsibility- almost to a fault. It’s beautiful.  I read every single solitary post and comment on his blog and a few things struck me that have been filling my mind and heart this week.

1. There is no justification anywhere on that blog.  He rarely mentions his wife at all but even when she is elluded to, it is never with even the slightest hint that she bears any blame.  This is so beautiful and so rare.  I’m sure he’s had moments where he wanted to say something- anything- to shift the blame for just a bit.  Let’s face it, generally the blame gets shifted to the ones closest and dearest to us.  He didn’t do it.  I couldn’t find a single instance.  I am blessed by this.
2. He is facing his guilt head-on.  He knows he is forgiven.  He knows that the blood of Jesus cleanses away all unrighteousness.  If anyone knows the power of Jesus over Satan and sin, it is this man.  However, he’s human.  We have a harder time forgiving ourselves than God does.  It’s kind of arrogant, I admit.   Who are we to pretend that our grief over our sin is greater than the Lord’s! 
   The holy, Almighty of Heaven is so pure that it takes the Holy Spirit to make our prayers acceptable in His presence!  The sad truth though, is that it is a fact of our humanity.  We weren’t created to be sinners.  We were created to be in perfect fellowship with the Lord.  This by-product of the fall is very real.  We have a hard time forgiving ourselves.
   So this man, like most of us, is facing his guilt.  Facing it head-on.  He’s not hiding from it or stamping it down as if he can just stand on it long enough to keep it from rearing its ugly head again. 
   Guilt is like this weed we have here in the desert.  We call it “Devil Grass.”  It’s an appropriate name.  You can poison it, pull it, chop it, salt it, and no matter what else you try, it always comes back.  Most of us pretend it isn’t there.  We just mow it down and hope it doesn’t take over the lawn.
   I love how this man doesn’t wallow in his guilt making him a martyr and yet he does face it.  He doesnt’ pretend it isn’t there.  He’s real.  I love his reality.
3. He’s using his experience to serve the body of Christ.  So often, preachers and pastors and others in Christian Leadership tend to just try to disappear into the crowd.  They try to escape from the public eye because let’s face it, who wants to be the object of finger pointers the world ’round?  No matter where they go, someone is waiting to point and whisper behind hands about his failing.  It doesn’t matter if it was two years ago, five years ago, ten years ago, or more.  It doesn’t matter that he prostrated himself before the church and has shown himself fully repentant.  He’ll never live it down.
   Isn’t that almost ironic?   The sin of gossip apparently only applies if you’re not gossipping about someone else’s sin.  Huh?
4. As Christians, I think we are so aware of our fallibility that we have no tolerance for it in anyone.  As one commenter on the blog put it (paraphrased by me), “It is as if the church is sanitizing itself from any chance of being affected by sinners.”  This has spurred a new book idea that I’m going crazy to start but I have committed to finishing Alexa 2 and nothing, even this story swirling in my head, is going to stop me.  I think.
5. Gossip, especially when speaking of the truth, is poisonous.  It kills relationships, communities, and sickens souls.  The older I get, the more strictly I define it and the less patience I have with it.  To see the actual wounds and scars on a beloved preacher due to it has affected me in ways I cannot imagine.  Don’t misunderstand me.  I know that there are others wounded by the source of the gossip.  Their pain matters too!  But must we increase the damage done with our own tongues?  In the words of Paul, “God forbid!”
6. And finally, it is such a little thing and a little off topic but it blessed me so I’m putting it here.  It’s this preacher’s response to comments on his blog.  He answers every single comment in the comment, in bold.  Every person who says a thing is acknowledged.  I’ve always wanted my commenters to know how important they are to me but posting in my comment thing felt awkward- even a little arrogant.  I now know how to do it and want to thank him for another way he’s been a fine example in my life.

I’ve been the brunt of gossip myself.  Some of it true, some of it false, and of course the usual half-truth.  Fortunately for me, I have parents who drilled it into my head that it doesn’t matter what other peope think.  It matters what the Lord thinks.  That has kept me from burying myself in guilt and shame over things that were my fault and from becoming incensed about the false accusations we all deal with at some point in our lives.

I’d love to challenge everyone.  Send a note, a card, a letter, an email, or comment on the blog of a hurting brother or sister in Christ today.  If they need forgiveness, extend it.  If they need their wounds tended and nursed, be a Samaritan.  Nurse them.  Whatever you do, support the church’s walking wounded today.  The church has a very bad rap for kicking our people when they’re down.  Let’s reverse that reputation and do it today.

Remodeling…

It’s almost a done deal.  We’re supposed to close on our refinance this Saturday.  I’m amazed, frankly, that we haven’t backed out yet.  We were so close to paying off this blasted house and now we’re doubling the time left to pay it off.

However, I must confess, we needed to do this.  We need to protect our investment in this house.  The siding is unsafe.  The stucco is damaged from the improper installation of the siding.   We can see a marked difference in how this house feels with the new windows so we must replace the remaining five windows.  And, we shouldn’t replace those windows and the siding without replacing the other two outside doors.  (do you see how it snowballs?)

So, once that was decided (and ten thousand dollars later) we had to come up with whether or not to do the kitchen!  You know how it goes… it snowballs.  And rolls.  And then there is a financial avalanche!  So we decided that we do need to do the kitchen.  (We have no cabinets and no countertops.  Literally.  Ok, I lied.  We have a sink base cabinet with a sink and about 2 feet of countertop on one side of it.)  I finally decided on an IKEA kitchen.  Why you ask?  I’ll tell you.  I have three reasons.

1. I love their drawers and doors.  They’re silent.  They’re gentle.  They’re as smooth as a ba- well they’re wonderful.
2. I love that if somethign happens to one…. A kid decides to ride full force into it on a scooter at 45 kph (kids per hour) or something like that… I can just buy a new one.  Any time.  I can even change things around once they’er in there.  Maybe I bought a cupboard and later decided on drawers.  whatever it is, I can change it.  Any time.  No waiting for special orders or having a guy come in and match what was already here.  I can do it.  Me.  Myself.  I like that.
3. I’ve seen the results in person.  I like the results.  I like how it operates and I like how it holds up.  I was surprised with the fact that I like it.  I tend to be a snob about these things if I give myself half a chance.

I’d originally intended to have friends do the kitchen for me.  I love their work, they’re marvelous cabinetmakers but after having an estimate 7 years ago and still not knowing how much it was going to be, I decided they’re probably too busy to do it.  When you’re good, you’re in demand.   I get it and I’m happy for them.  And, because I like number 2 up there, I don’t feel guilt.  I ‘d hate to expect that kind of turn around from a friend. 

Ok, so I  planned a kitchen.  Now we have to move a sink.  Oh, and replace a window.  don’t forget the back door.  And the new floor.  I get a new fridge.  I’m dreaming of that fridge.

And then there is the dishwasher….

Isn’t she beautiful?  If I had a bigger kitchen I’d get two.  Yes.  I would.  Sue me.  See those utensil holders in the door.  Ahhh

And I’ll get me  nice microwave vent hood dealiebob.  I like dealiebobs.  Like this.

Of course that means a bunch of other stuff has to happen.  You know, hiring a plumber to move my sink.  Hiring someone to put in the floor.  Hiring….  It’s going to be expensive.  10K expensive.  Again.

Then there is the bathroom.  It needs help too.  It needs a floor, a new sink and cabinet, a new medicine cabinet, and a new tub.  With lots of caulking.  Lots.  I’m thinking about buying stock in that stuff.  Wonder how many K that is?

Do you know what this means?  Decisions.  Lots of them.  Deciding between what is “pennywise and pound foolish” and what is just “spendthrifty”.  Deciding whether I want white cabinets (which I LOVE) or if I want to go with all wood cabinets (which I think is smart).  Deciding how to side the house (hardiboard, hardiplank, or vinyl… I’m leaning away from vinyl.  Our current vinyl left a bad taste in my mouth.  Bad.)  Deciding if we move the sink.  Is it worth the money?   Do I do the one wall in the kitchen?

Oh yeah.  And all of the interior doors.  Let’s see… seven of them.  Oh joy.

Oops.   I forgot about how we had talked about putting a floor in the garage… making a utility shed… oops!  The money isn’t never ending.  Priorities.

Kitchen.  Siding.  Bathroom.  In that order. 

 Almost.

State of the Household Address- 2008

Well, for a few years now, I’ve written about the changes I’ve made in my life over the past year, how I’ve grown, what’s happenin’ and such-like.

Well, I wasn’t going to bother this year.  We only manged two windows and a partial bathroom remodel on the house.  I’ve finished only one of the two Roman shades for that window and I didn’t make fall clothes for my kids. 

My health issues just kind of took over our lives and I don’t remember what happened before that! 

However, I reflected on a conversation that I had with Adrienne the other day when she was here and realized I do have something to write about the state of our household. 

When my children were little, it seemed as though I spent my days putting out fires more than I spent putting into them as people.  Like many mothers (most I think), I saw all the areas that I thought we needed improvement in our training,-areas where we weren’t consistent or didn’t focus on the right issues.  It seemed as though years slipped through our fingers like grains of sand.  Days followed days and years chased the days until I had teenagers and a grandchild.

Then I got sick.

Let me tell you something.  The house kept going.  The children ate and we managed to survive even though I only did 2 mini grocery trips in 16 weeks.  Kevin bought food, Morgann made frequent trips to the store, and Challice even did a full shop for me once but we managed. 

We had clean clothing that was generally folded and put away.  Bathrooms stayed clean.  The kitchen didn’t shine like I’d LOVE for it to, but it did stay clean enough to avoid health department condemnation status.

School continued, life went on.

My children were more tender toward me.  I’d always wondered if I focused so much on behavior and not enough on loving others.  Let me tell you, my children took care of me.  I know they probably got tired of it.  I know they probably just wanted it over so that I could get my own drink for once but they were patient regardless.  They nagged me about my appointments and reminded me to take medications.  They insisted I sit while they did what needed to be done.  When things looked fairly bleak, the concern and care they showed me was such a blessing. 

I must interject here that Kevin also went the extra hundred miles.  He got up in the morning, set the appliances in motion, went to work, came home, made dinner, directed the kids, helped me (including getting up half a dozen times a night to get me something so I wouldn’t try to do it myself).  I just had to point out that I wasn’t leaving him out deliberately.  This was just about the kids and well, he’s not one.

So, while the house itself doesn’t boast of more windows, a new kitchen, or hand quilted quilts on every bed, the true state of our house is, “…we will serve the Lord.”  (and in a pinch, the mom!)