Hearth Keepers has a fun and wonky thread going on.  I’ve been mulling it for a while and decided to have fun with it over here.  I’m weird that way. 

1. I’ve come to realize that my ex:  Ex what?  Con?  I wasn’t going to tell anyone about that.  This stupid thing has already outed me.  Well, not OUTED me. I don’t need to be truly “outed”.  Not like that! Really.  I’m not protesting too much!  It’s just that well… hmm ”I’ve come to realize that my ex is the blog I destroyed when I tried to cover my ex convict status that I don’t even have.”  No I’m not protesting too much again.  AAAAK.

2. I’ve come to realize that I talk:   Do I?  Do I talk?  Hmm… I guess I do.  I kind of forgot about that mode of communication. Blog now… If it said “I’ve come to realiz that I blog:”  Then I’d have an answer. How do I say I talk.  Do I say “Without an accent” or “With an accentless accent?”   Or, does it mean something like how much or how fast or-  Wait, I know.  It means the quality of my speech.  That’s a difficult one.  I  mean if you take everything I say every day and line t up between deep, inane, and neutral, you’d get a lot of neutral and a smidge of deep or inane.    So the answer is… “I’ve come to realize that I talk.  Period.”

3. I’ve come to realize that I love :   Duh!  Of course I do.  Don’t ever’body?  (Said in my best Lina Lamont voice)  Now if you want to know what I love, that’d depend upon the time of day, the context, and whether I’ve had a recent infusion of chocolate.  Preferrably Sees.

4. I’ve come to realize I have:  No idea what I’m talking about.  I know not to end a sentence in about (see previous sentence) but I don’t know  that of which I speak.  Assuming I’m speaking.  Perhaps if I don’t talk, I’ll realize that this particular section of this thing is moot.  I like it.  Simple yet effective. 

5. I’ve come to realize that I lost :  Don’t tell me that!  I’m tired of losing!  I want to win!  Win!  WIN!  Nope.  I refuse to acknowledge that this is one of the questions that I’m supposed to answer.  This is unlucky number five and like buildings without thirteenth floors, this list doesn’t have a question five.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when :   Hmm… hate.  Now this is difficult.  Scripture equates hate to murder.  What would I love to murder.  Mice.  Yeah.  I  hate it (become murderous) when mice have the audacity to try to occupy the same living space as me.  I’m not exactly Grace Buscher but I really do not think that with the whole vast desert at their disposal, mice need to try to live in MY house.  That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.  Murder huh?  Think PETA might be upset?

7. I’ve come to realize that marriage:  Is highly underrated.  Seriously.  If you don’t know why, do something to improve your marriage or find a marriage to enter.  You won’t regret it. 

8. I’ve come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking :  “Is it that hard to put on a new roll of toilet paper?”   I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

9. I’ve come to realize that, I’ll always be:  Me.  No seriously.  Think about it.  We’ll always be us.  Why try to be who we were never intended to be because that is how people “wear” themselves this year.  One year it’s efficient, the next relaxed.  Now it’s romantically feminine, later it’s tailored and classic.  How about we just be ourselves.  That means one thing for me, one for you, and another for her over there.  Isn’t it a marvelous world?  Why try to be anyone but ourselves.  Who wants to look like another hanger on the Mervyn’s rack.  (That’s metaphoric.  I’m not talking about clothing per se.  Get with the analogy people.)

10. I’ve come to realize that, I have a crush on :   A little baby girl.

11. I’ve come to realize that, the last time I truly cried was:   At first I couldn’t remember.  Then I did.  It was something to do with Knox Andersen.  It was about a month to six weeks ago.  I don’t usually do tears.  When I do, I tend to do it in the shower.  Alone.  Seeing mom cry is such an unusual sight (I can’t just MAKE me cry so it’ more common) that it tends to frighten my children.

12. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone is:  Something that sets me apart from the general population.  It is very unique.  It doesn’t work most of the time but it makes up for that  in its total uniqueness.  Who else do you know that has an invisible cell phone, free, and it never rings when you don’t want it to?  I tell you,  I really need to market these.  Lightweight (Can’t tell you’re holding it) it’s see-through so it matches every outfit.  I could call it the Chameleon phone.  I’ll make millions.

13. I’ve come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning:  Wait.  I have to wake up while it’s still morning?  Uh oh.

14. I’ve come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night:  Um… can we define night?

15. I’ve come to realize that, right now I am thinking about :   How lame it is to start a sentence with “I’ve come to realize that” when it ends in “right now I am thinking about:”   Honestly.  It’s dumb.  Do you walk up to your husband and say, I’ve come to realize that right now I’d better go to the bathroom?  You don’t?  I rest my case.

16. I’ve come to realize that, babies are:  Just the beginning of a lifetime of joy. 

17. I’ve come to realize that, I get on Myspace:  Do I hafta?  I mean, I have this blog… that other blog… the one over there and that other one.  Isn’t that enough?  I think so.   I really do.  Yeah.  Yep.  Sure enough.  See, even that sentence says enough is enough.

18. I’ve come to realize that, today I:  Won’t be all I can be.  That happens sometimes.  That’s ok, I’m not in the army.   Well, I am in the Lord’s Army.  But that’s not His slogan so I’m still safe.  “Yes SIR!”

19. I’ve come to realize that, tonight I will :  Work on a Poodle Skirt costume for a friendly acquaintence.  I think it’s going to be cute.  Then, I’ll realize how much I want to work on Andra’s dress.  Then, I’ll pull those gathering threads and it’ll make me think of smocking.  Thinking of smocking will remind me of the new voile I bought to smock so…. I’ll want some needles.  Getting the needles and floss will make me think of needles and haystacks which will remind me of jumping on haystacks as a kid.  I’ll remember how thirsty I got.  I’ll want some milk.  And chances are… if I drink some milk… I’ll want a cookie to go with it. 

20. I’ve come to realize that, tomorrow I will :  Remember why they coined the acronymn, TGIF.  Thank God It’s Friday is not an irreverent and flippant comment for the masses to celebrate the last day of the work week.  No.  That is an abuse of a beautiful shout of thanksgiving and joy that I have every week when I realize that it is Friday, my husband is not thirty miles away interacting with radars and computer boards but instead is sitting in my recliner and snuggling with his children.  It’s a reminder that he is home, with his family, all day, for the next three days.  TGIF!

21. I’ve come to realize that, I really want to :  Stop answering these questions.  I’m getting bored.  I think I’ll go do something more fascinating like measuring the amount of toe jam I find between my toes or counting the number of times my back door opens and closes in a five minute period.  Yeah.  Now that’s the life!