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When I was in high school, I decided to become a teacher. Specifically grammar and literature. I loved what we now call “Language Arts”. In school, it was all ‘English’. I was going to teach students to ’see’ grammar for the simple ‘mathmatics of words’ that it is. Gerunds and participles are simply grammatical terms like quotients and decimals.
I became a mother instead. I am not sorry that I did. However with motherhood came this delightful experience I like to call homeschooling. FINALLY. I’m a TEACHER! WAHOO!
Sigh. Guess what. I learned that I didn’t like teaching. I don’t delight in imparting knowledge to students who don’t understand a concept. I do enjoy planning, choosing, researching, and every other part of the process.
I’ve spent 14 years homeschooling because I know it is what I am supposed to do. It would violate my conscience to put my children in a public or Christian school. Trust me, I’ve tried to do it several times. I cannot. However, I’ve also disliked the job for those 14 years.
I’m determined to change that. If I’d spent the time and money it takes to become a teacher, I would have also discovered, too late, that I didn’t enjoy teaching. But, in that instance, I would have also taught myself to like it. I would have found ways to enjoy the process of teaching and looked for ways to make how I spent each day interesting. I wouldn’t have given up and given into my lack of excitement. Why? Because I would be being paid to do something and it’s a disservice to my employer not to do it with a good attitude inside as well as outside.
Guess what. It took me fourteen years to realize that my children deserved the same kind of attitude adjustment. No, I don’t groan and moan. No, I don’t whine and complain. But they know I do it because I love them and think it’s best. How much better would it be if they knew I’d taught myself to enjoy it! What a lesson.
I’m determined but it may mean much more work for me… and that isn’t something I’m all that thrilled aobut. Sigh.
First budgeting, now this. At this rate, I may be trying to learn to like pain next!
